worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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