I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
