Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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