Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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