You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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