i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
