i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Still dying that you shit outside
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
