I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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