Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
