its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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