looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
