guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
