How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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