I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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