You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
