Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
