May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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