dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize