I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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