I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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