Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
