I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
