Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
