is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
