We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
