Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
