...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
