she was so not down for the gang bang
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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