I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
