His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
