your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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