girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize