Can i not drive my cunt home
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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