True but thats because hes a fetus.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize