i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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