Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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