We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
