At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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