help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
