I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
