8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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