I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
