highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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