From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
