Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
