The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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