I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize