yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Panties = found
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
