You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
