the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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