i just had sex bonerless
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
