porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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