I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
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