she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
