So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
