i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dignity is for republicans.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
