OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
