thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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