Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
