mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Randomize
