i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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