How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
