Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
