Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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