hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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