Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
