I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
