How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
another moral hangover. fuck.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
