glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
