i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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