when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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