I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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