does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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