You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
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You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
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I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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