IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize